You are not your job

My UX Research career mentorship sessions usually start with questions about resumes, portfolios, and cover letters. “How do I make my case stronger?” “What should I have said in this interview?” “What are interviewers really looking for?” These sessions often start from a place of anxiety and feeling like there is so much outside of our control.

But by the end of the conversation, we’ve usually left the details and tactics behind.

We’re talking about energy and how to manage it. We’re talking about mindset and how to shift it. We’re talking about what’s in your control, what isn’t, and how to stay connected to your self-worth even when the job search feels like it’s slowly draining you.

We talk about what it means to keep going without burning out. To stay human while navigating a system that often forgets you're one.

It's not just you

We know it’s true: the job market is chaotic. Roles open and close overnight, or are fake altogether. Offers are rescinded. Layoffs happen without warning. You might do everything “right” and still end up with nothing but silence.

And when that happens, it’s tempting to internalize it, to make it about your value. But it’s not. It’s about timing. Power structures. Economics. Algorithms. Things no one person can control.

What is in your control? How you move through it.

When I had it in the bag

Sometimes, the rug just gets pulled out from under you.

It happened to me where I’d made it to the finish line for a job I was incredibly excited about. The role was remote, aligned with my values, and would be great for my career growth. I had accepted the offer. I had told people. I had seen myself in the role.

And then: it was rescinded.

It just sucked. I felt numb, angry, embarrassed, hurt. There’s no tidy resolution for that kind of letdown.

So I gave myself full permission to feel terrible. I took a few days to wallow a bit. And then, when I was ready, I let it go. Not because I had a perfect Plan B. But because I couldn’t move forward carrying all that weight.

Yes, I still wonder “what if.” But I also know, some things just aren’t meant to be. And sometimes that’s enough.

I’d like to say it never happened again, but a few months later, it did! I made it to the offer stage, and the job was rescinded. It sucked. It really did. But by then I had adjusted my expectations and approach to the job search. So even though it still felt really crappy, and I was really frustrated, moving past it was a lot easier to do.

Now I have tools and tactics to support myself through the emotions of job hunting.

What I remind myself — and others

My own career has never been linear. I’ve heard more no’s than yes’s. I haven’t always felt like the “right” person for the job. But I’ve developed some practices that help me get rid of the imposter during the interview marathon and stay grounded in the process:

• I treat interviews like conversations between peers. I’m interviewing them, too.

• I see it like a practice, and I like to stay in practice. Interviewing is a skill, and the more I do it, the more confident I become.

• I let go of the dream job fantasy. Instead, I map out my needs, wants, values, red flags… even if this isn’t the “ideal job”, can it be the right one for me, right now?

• I make space to create. That could be running my own UX study, making art, or writing and posting my own articles… something where I’m not waiting to be chosen, but choosing to act.

• I nurture relationships not just to “network,” but to build real connections in my field.

• I remind myself: this doesn’t define me, but the way I handle it does.

The UX lens: everything is a draft

In UX research, we don’t expect the first version to be perfect. We test, observe, and iterate. Every insight leads to a new path.

I try to approach my career the same way. What role helps me test something I’m curious about? What kind of feedback am I hearing and what can I learn from it? What needs adjusting in the way I’m telling my story?

None of this is final. It’s all in motion. None of this is about my worth as a person.

You are not your job

The job search will ask a lot of you. It will invite comparison, urgency, and self-doubt. You’ll be tempted to prove yourself, to shape-shift, to chase the role that looks best on paper.

But what if you didn’t?

What if this season isn’t just about finding the next job but about becoming more yourself in the process?

Your job might change. The market might shift. But your career and how you carry yourself through it is yours to shape.

What would it feel like to stop chasing the ideal, and start honoring the journey you’re already in?